Monday, September 1, 2014

Home is Where the Heart is


For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey.
Proverbs‬ ‭7‬:‭19
Today is the day I have been longing for and dreading all at the same time.  I am finally COMPLETELY moved out of my old house, OUR house.  It feels weird just locking up and driving away, so I am going to sit in this unfurnished place and write to my Hun about some memories we’ve made here.

Bradford,
Well, the good news is that I don’t ever have to wake up another morning and not see you in our kitchen making your coffee! I'm overcome with so many emotions as I prepare to leave this house we've called home for 4 years.  You know me...I'm kind of a freak when it comes to sentimental things.  I had to take pictures of each room and I want to remind you of some of my most precious memories with you here...




This is the dining room we rarely used.  When we first moved stuff in here it was an excellent place to store all of our wedding gifts.  We had SO many, but we didn’t want to use them until we were officially married.  I can still see your bikes leaned up against the wall in here.  Anytime we were to have company over I would ask you to move them {because I learned really quickly not to touch them myself!}.  You never understood what the big deal was, but {usually} moved them anyways with a smile on your face.  This is the room we played cards so many times with your family, OUR family.  I remember when we first got Ollie he loved to come to his secret spot in here to potty.  You tried to outsmart him by putting a potty pad there.  You’re a genius! :)  I remember this room being a disaster for weeks as I painted the china cabinet your mom gave us {don’t worry folks, I had permission}.  I remember having friends over many times as we attempted making dinner for them.  I can remember you were so funny this one time we had an adult couple over.  You grilled porkloin and I made cheesy ranch potatoes.  When they left the room you gave me your open mouthed, high-arched eyebrows smile and told me that we were like REAL adults!  I also remember how overflowing this room was with friends and family after your graduation.  It was always so fun to get both of our families together.  I remember even more clearly after you left this earth how many plates of food, people, paper products, and plants were jam packed in here.  You would’ve loved visiting with all of your favorites!

Here is the laundry room that was constantly used!  Boy, have I missed doing your laundry.  We didn’t spend a lot of time in here together, but sitting here I am reminded of some things.  I was always appreciative that you emptied your pockets.  I never ruined a load of laundry due to your gum or pens.  You were so particular about your laundry in wanting it to be “just so.”  Your pants had to be folded with the back pockets touching, the crotch facing the left with the hook curving to the right.  I think.  I never was too good at remembering that ;)  You gave me several lessons and fully recognized what a freak you were for it ;)  I can remember our hot water heater not working and you becoming handy man Higgins in your attempt to fix it.  The pilot had been blown out and you needed my help to see if it came on {this worked best at night when it was dark in here}.  I was always scared you were going to blow your face off, or at least singe your eyebrows, because of the warning about how many times you could push the igniter.  You weren't skeered!


Our kitchen was one of your favorite places.  I don’t know HOW you stayed so thin!  I can still see you in here making your coffee, espresso, or fudge.  You really did make the best fudge!  You would often come up behind me and hold me while I made our dinner.  We had a lot of taco night dance parties in here.  I’m still not sure why we didn’t have manwich night dance parties or shrimp bowtie pasta night dance parties ;) When you cleaned the kitchen you REALLY cleaned it!  I loved when you did the dishes because you paid such close attention to the detail in disinfecting things.  How many women can say their husbands do THAT?!  I can still see you in here making my lunch.  You really were the best!  I just remembered one week when there were so many storms.  We drug the mattress from one of our beds to sleep on the kitchen floor so we could get under the little table in the hallway if we needed to.  You were somehow able to make me forget my fear of storms as we laughed at how crazy but funny we were.


We always called this the zebra room, even after we switched the comforters.  We really never spent much time in here together besides the occasional nap.  This was unofficially my other room since I kept my school bags and winter clothes in here.  I grew up sleeping in this bed, and I never dreamed it would actually sit in the home I shared with my most fantastic love.  I’ve hidden many of your gifts in here, too!


Oh boy, the office.  I’m sorry I griped at you about this room so much.  This was your other room and the source of many a fuss.  You never understood why it was so important to me to have EVERY room of our house clean when we were having company over. ;)  I can still see you coming in here to clean your guns and organize your comics .  Although the room was usually a disaster, your closet was always much more organized than mine.  Thanks for even sharing a little space in it with me.  I can still see all of your school books in here.  You kept a lot of helpful books, but your favorite was always the DSM.  We had a lot of fun “diagnosing” people!  HAHA!

Here’s the bathroom.  Although I always looked forward to the day we would have 2 bathrooms, I never took for granted the fact that we had 2 sinks.  We’ve brushed our teeth together in here many, many times.  In fact, I always tried to hold out and brush as long as you did.  If there was a part of you that was going to be clean, it was your mouth.  I can remember showering in here and you would come in here to use the restroom.  You could always tell a major difference in the temperature of the water when the toilet flushed so you were always sure to say FLUSHING when you were done.  Sometimes it would startle me because I didn’t even know you were in here!  I would jokingly reply with SCALDING although I didn’t really notice a difference.  When we first got married I always cut your hair.  We would come in here, cut apart a trash bag and you would get down on all fours for me to buzz your hair.  This is the last place I ever saw you.  I can still see your feet standing on that rug Ollie loved to chew on and looking up to kiss you and tell you bye.  I can remember coming in here to cry so many times in the days and weeks that followed your death.  Some of my absolute worst moments were in this tiny room.

And our bedroom. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this rated G ;) Two of my most favorite times with you in here were in your last week of life.  I’ll never forget you coming in that Tuesday night after playing tennis and just sitting on the side of the bed, holding my hand, and talking.  I can remember thinking in that moment how simple, yet perfect, it was.  The Sunday afternoon before your accident I had SO much school work to do.  I decided I was exhausted and we should take a nap.  I can still feel your sweet arms around me.  We accidentally slept for a few hours and when we woke up we just laid there looking at each other.  It was pure and simple. I can’t tell you how many times since you’ve been gone I’ve pictured that very afternoon where I just gazed into those beautiful blue eyes.  It was perfect.

I don’t think there was EVER a time you simply walked down the hall.  You ALWAYS jumped up and head-butted the string you pull to get to the attic!  One time when Bradley was visiting we decided to pull it up a couple of inches to see if you would notice.  You came by and just pulled it down.  How do you know these things?!
 

We did a lot of living in this living room.  Most nights consisted of us chilling on the couch watching TV and working or me scratching your head and you scratching my leg.  We had it all worked out!  You were so dedicated to your job and would often have papers and your planner strewn out working on session notes or treatment plans.  This is where I would find you early on Saturday mornings watching Manchester United play.  I can still see you doing your little dance where you pick up your knees and push your arms in and out {I don’t know how else to describe it.  I know I will remember exactly what this is when I read it in the future!}  I can still see you on the trainer drinking your Mio water and watching Big Bang Theory.  As I sit where we placed our Christmas tree every year I can still see you unloading that itchy thing and us decorating it.  I always loved exchanging gifts with you, especially gifts that make me seem ignorant {cue the charcoal path to your GAS grill! Hahaha!}.  I can still hear your car backing into the driveway...

As I get ready to leave this place for the final time I am overwhelmed with happy memories I made with you. I really did love it here.  It hasn’t been home for almost 5 months since you have been gone.  I truly understand this popular quote:
This is just a dwelling place without you.  It has stored our belongings and provided shelter for me many nights.  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit nervous about this next phase in my grief, not having this house to visit when I want to feel closer to you.   I am, however, very excited to not have the stress of going through our things and moving them anymore.  Just know that if home is where the heart is that YOU are my home.
Missing you every second of every day,
Brittany, your Sug

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